i can see that yall had already forgotten about me and don't even fucking care about my feelings.
well i understand .
i know im very fucked up before and i took yall for granted.
LOL that's what yall thought (in the took yall for granted part) , not me.
i wanted to show my appreciation to yall but i don't know how.
it's like everything i do, yall like don't even care and don't understand what im trying to do for yall.
you know?
it hurts when i think yall actually fake your smiles to me everytime man!
and pretend to be nice to me?
(no wonder that i felt yall like don't wan to talk wif me each time im trying to make conversations with yall ==)
goshhh my tear ran down on my cheeks when i think of that.
yall actually pretend to be my friend even though deep inside in your heart yall actually hates me?
hey guys i really understand la
i hurted my gf, (your best friend)
soo bad before and yall are mad about it
but yall didn't speak out and release your feelings to me
yall just trying to protect her feelings and mine too.
so yall decided to keep your mouth shut and let it flow.
and PRETEND that yall don't know anything.
BUT
i really rather that yall scold and fuck me for what i have done THAN yall keep your mouths shut and pretend that yall don't know anything and act nice infront of me?
OMFG that really hurts la come on
and i know yall really don't like to fight or argue,
thats one of the reasons yall kept your mouth shut.
and now yall probably still hates me but i don't blame yall.
i understand, seriously.
Everyone deserves what they'll get.
and i deserves what im getting now.
Sorry i failed my job
to take care of her
yall put your faith on me but i failed it
i disappointed yall
but hey,
it's too late now
looks like yall have to continue your journey WITHOUT me
i admit im a messed up person and nothing but troubles
i made alot of troubles to yall before.
and i still remember that time at jay's house steamboat party
i ruined everyone's mood
im really sorry for that.
and most probably everytime we hang out together i ruined yall mood too.
and im felt very very happy each time we hang out and watch some movies.
and i thank you, for everything yall have done for me,
the foods, the energy, the time for me.
Thank you.
and im not here to ask for your forgiveness,
i just need to you know how regret and sorry i am.
That's all.
And im sorry for everthing single thing that i have wrongly made to yall.
Yall know i would make a change for it if i have a chance from yall.
im sorry.
yall are much more happier without me
now i think
"if i never mix into you guys in the first place, shits like this won't even happen"
and i believe i have changed
and i felt proud of it.
im not that kind of "angry all of the time" person now.
just hope i can find or meet some new friends like yall that i can actually have fun with
no one likes to be alone
no one wants to do things with their own
everyone wants to know they are not alone.
yall are not alone
yall have each other
so yall never felt that yall are alone before or something
cause yall always do things together.
and im jealous of that. hehe =P
Imma very emotional person, it's not like yall don't know about that.
"Friends" means alot to me
the true meaning of friend, inside of it, it always have backstabs, betrayals, being used, hurting each other.
BUT
each fights or arguements that made in between friends or family,
brings them closer to each other and understands each other more.
Being a friend not just sharing some jokes, a conversation or having fun with.
It means sharing your honesty, your love and the true part of yourself.
Im sorry guys,
good luck for yall and wish yall will be happy every single day.
wish the best luck for your studies and don't push yourselves too hard on it.
Health can survive without knowledge (somehow)
but knowledge can't survive without health.
so stay healthy and take good care. =D
Im looking forward to see the day that yall succeed in your lives. =D
Keep up your good smiles (specially yours, Applehead xD) , it makes other people want to smile back at you too. =)
Well my stupidness stops here. =')
Im out.
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